Spade and Archer were two Private Eyes
Thread bare and broke and wondering why
Then Effie announced, there's a lady to see
Who goes by the name of Miss Wonderly
Can you help me, please will you mister
I've come to locate my missing sister
Shes been in town since this past Thursday
And was seen with a man, by the name of Thursby
Archer piped up, I'll take this case
And went out that night to take up the chase
When out of the shadows suddenly did jump
A killer who put one, right through his pump
Polhaus and Dundy came sniffing around
Questioning Spade on the body they found
Not only was Archer murdered tonight
But Thursby was shot later that night
Later that evening, Sam got a call
To meet Miss LeBlanc, and not to forestall
Sam was surprised, when she opened the door
To see the Miss Wonderly, he'd met just before
Wonderly or LeBlanc, is not my real name
But Bridgid O'Shaunessy, if its all the same
he tried to explain the wherefores and whys
But Sam said you're good, but its all total lies
Sam took her money and continued the case
And returned to his office suddenly to face
A man named Cairo who offered to pay
Five thousand dollars for a black bird of prey
He went back to Bridgid with the news he had found
To see what she knew or if she was fiddling around
Sam and Bridgid agreed that they'd go
To the hotel to see Joel Cairo
At the hotel, all that was heard
Was talk about that mysterious black bird
When suddenly a scuffle, it did break out
And Sam slapped Cairo all about
Polhaus and Dundy knocked on the door
And Cairo picked himself up, off of the floor
Just when an arrest, they were going to involk
Sam told them, that it was all a big joke
Sam spotted Wilmer watching outside
And wondered if he was being taken for a ride
Later he told him, at Cairo's hotel
Go tell the fat man, I've got info to sell
Sam met with Gutman whose offer was heard
Ten thousand bucks to deliver the bird
As their discussion continued, what do you think
Gutman had put something, into Sam's drink
Later at Sam's office there was a knock on the door
And Captain Jacoby fell to the floor
He was carrying something under his arm
And brought it to Sam, before buying the farm
Sam took the bundle to the bus station
And checked it as baggage, for your information
He then picked up Bridgid and did go to meet
Messrs Gutman and Cairo up in their suite
They talked and they talked and agreed on a price
And suddenly they became quiet, as little mice
To cover our trail, a fall guy we need
And Wilmer was chosen, to take the lead
Effie brought in the bundle and then she was gone
The sun was rising, it was almost dawn
They gathered round as fast as they were able
To open the package that sat on the table
After the unwrapping, much to their dread
They discovereed the Falcon was made out of lead
Cairo cursed Gutman, and yelled in his face
And then they decided to continue the chase
Sam called the cops to turn them in
And then turned to Bridgid with nary a grin
You shot Miles, you had such gall
Now you're going to pay, you're taking the fall
Sam told Bridgid, as she said her bit
You killed Miles and you're going over for it
I'll be waiting for you in twenty long years
I won't play the sap, but I'll cry the tears
As the cops did arrive Sam uttered a sigh
Held Bridgid close and kissed her goodbye
He picked up the statue that everyone did love
And tossed out the stuff that dreams are made of
